Sunday, December 19, 2010

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I am feeling very restless today. I have no idea what is going on in my mind. Not one stable thought, but, a mixture of them, each trying to compete with the other to make their presence felt strongly. Aaargh… Maybe it is just a reminder that life can be a tough task master inspite of being worthfully carved.

  • Assumptions can prove to be so fatal. This is something I have learnt after facing the misgivings of “assuming” a few things. Great lesson learnt. It has taught me not to assume but instead ask and clarify.
  • The thin line between appearing confident and appearing arrogant. I am super scared when it comes to this. I try not to appear arrogant but it so happens that I still appear a little arrogant when my confidence levels are a little high. I need to work on this pretty soon.
  • The need to say “Thank You” and “Sorry”. I believe in this completely. There are times when out of the blue, I tell people thanks and sorry. They think it might be the usual dose of craziness I suffer from sometimes, but, the fact is I can never stop myself from saying the above two words when I really feel like they should be said, even if it is in the middle of the night…I just need to express my gratitude and my apologies when I feel like. Thanks to all those who understand the reason why I do this and sorry to all those who get irritated when I do this.
  • Sing even if you don’t know how to sing and dance even if you don’t know how to dance. I was listening to music the other day in the bus while travelling to office and I had such a strong urge to just dance joyfully. I don’t know how to dance nor do I know how to sing. But, when am happy I still sing and dance. It gives me great joy. So what I did was I came back home that day and sang and danced away to glory. Felt awesome. Looking forward to more such times.
  • Trust-hmm. I have no idea why we tend to trust people so soon. We just can’t help but trust a few people because they seem so endearing. We make them friends so soon and then tuppp the bubble breaks and we feel like first line idiots. It happens to all of us many a times. But that doesn’t stop us from trusting the others who are genuinely trustworthy. I will leave this topic here since I have nothing more to say about this. I always go by my intuition when it comes to trust and yeah sometimes my intuition does go wrong. But all is well if a lesson is learnt.
  • The need to market oneself. It is very important to market yourself, the person you are, the things you do, because, no one knows you better than yourself and the other person will know about all you do only when you market yourself well. Then comes the time to prove your worth. But, before that, you need to market yourself and your skills. That is when you get the opportunity to prove your worth. I guess my marketing skills need much more polishing. I seem to be pretty bad at it. Let me prove it. I keep posting updates about my blog on facebook–my idea of marketing my blog; still, I have only three followers out of the 150 friends I have on facebook. Pretty bad stats. Is it because my blog is so “thoughtless” or is it that my marketing skills are so weak? I need to do something about this very soon. My “to-do” list seems to be getting longer.
  • The need to invest to take care of our mind’s well-being. We all invest our finances for our general well-being. I will do that too. But, I feel I need to invest in something else that I know will keep my mind relaxed and peaceful at the end of the day, because, at the end of it, all that we need from life is a life worth living. I have decided to invest a part of my money in books every month so that I can have my own little library at home. Another thing that is on my wishlist is to have a vegetable and fruit garden at home, even if it is on a smaller scale. Hope and pray I can let this happen.
  • Memories never fade. I miss a few people very much-Friends, teachers and a few others, in no particular order. I try not to, but, it never happens. I still end up missing them. I wish I could go back to those times whenever needed, to childhood times, school and college days and re-live those moments and cherish them much more than before. There is a song from Lakshya that perfectly suits what am feeling. It goes like this-

Kitni baatein yaad aati hai
Tasveerein si ban jaati hain
Main kaise inhein bhooloon
Dil ko kya samjhaaun

PS: I know there is no connection between each topic I have bulleted, but, like I said there was not one thought that was constant on my mind. They are just what they seem like….RANDOM.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

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I love my new blogger template…white and blue in combination is my favourite. While choosing this template, the first thing that went into my mind was, “Oh this is great. This is what I was looking for- A template that depicts the various intricacies of life” and this template does that perfectly for me through various colours.
Colours are so important in our lives. I mean, just look at everything around and the first thing that strikes is the colour of the object. Our mind perceives it so quickly. Great.  But the best part of colours is the fact that they bring along with them the message of each emotion and each event. We always tend to associate an emotion with each colour. Red-love,anger; White-purity,peace; Orange-cheerful,happy; Yellow-fresh; Black-elegance,mourning and so on and so forth. This is what intrigues me…have no idea of how it all started and how deep-rooted it is that it carries on with each generation, each person associating the same emotions with each colour. Well, like everything, there might be a few exceptions,but, on a larger scale, this works. No one teaches us about this in school like many other things which we agree on. Colour is indeed an universal language of emotions. So couldn’t find a better template. Cheers to the person who created this template.
PS: My mum feels this template is very childish. Well, to an extent, it is true. But, have you ever seen the spark in the eyes of a child when you give him/her a piece of paper and a few colour pencils? That speaks volumes about what joy it brings to the child. Same is the case with me. After all, we still have a bit of a child left in all of us.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

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“Success” and “failure” are two inevitable things that each one of us face in life. Some of us might have had more successes than failures and for some others it might have been the reverse. But, I really wonder what “success” and “failure” is all about. I guess the definition differs with each person depending on the priorities in life.
I have had my share of success and failures but then success never felt complete nor has failure ever felt too downtrodding. ‘Good things have their own disadvantages and bad things have their advantages’ perfectly defines my idea of the two terms in discussion. If I look back at my life till now and try deducing the meaning of success and failure that would fit in my theory, it would be something that I am going to talk about now.
For me, personally, success is all about having a fine balance in both personal and professional life. If I am doing well in my professional life and my personal life is totally screwed up, it does not define my idea of success and if am having a great personal life and my professional life is going haywire, it is the does not define my idea of success. But then, personal life has a greater priority always…well, it is true even if most of us wouldn’t want to agree. It is always 60:40(personal: professional) at the least, even for those who claim to be married to their work. Anything for loved ones…right??? I would call myself successful when I wake up one morning, sane, do the best I can and better myself each day from then on to be a good daughter, a great wife, a good daughter- in-law, a good mother and a good employee if am working in a company or a good teacher if am teaching impromptu or a good writer if am writing a book or a good home maker if am managing only my home…success just lies in being good, and bettering oneself while continuously trying to make the world a better place. Success is all about being madly in love with what you want truly in your life. It is all about prioritizing and knowing when to stop and when to proceed. Old saying-Doing the right things at the right time and being at the right place!!!Ah..this is what success is all about.
Coming to failure…This is so difficult to define. Really. What really is failure??All that is not success is failure, is it?? I don’t know if there are any real failures in life. Well..I don’t feel this all the time. I do feel scared of failing in life. I have had bad failures in life, could have been worse. But then, at times like these when am relaxed and my mind is clear and I look back, the question does arise-Are there any real failures in life that cannot be corrected?? I mean at the brink of the moment when failure knocks at the door, we do feel like losers with capital L. But then, have you realized how quickly we recover from it compared to what we would have thought at the moment we step into troubled waters. All those negative, sad feelings at those times make us feel like we’ll never able to gain ground again. But doesn’t happen, does it? We humans, I feel, are inherently positive beings. We just move on with our lives, putting behind all those failures and trying to just get on with our lives, we don’t even realize when we are out of it and heading towards success. Personally, I always find myself a lot more composed and more courageous after facing major setbacks because what life has taught me in these 24 years is this- ‘ If it can go wrong, then it can go right too’.
I don’t know what I have written and what is it that I felt like posting this on my blog, but then, I felt I should and I did.
All that I now wish for is ‘During the times of success, please keep me sane enough to not let success get into my head and rule it ,and, during times of failure, please keep me sane enough to not let failure get me to bow down my head’. Amen….

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Since most of you felt my “Bee” poem was enthralling (am being sarcastic of course), I thought I would let you read a few of my pathetic shayaris I attempted when I was in PUC!! This is to prove that am not bad only at English poems but the fact is am bad at poems in general.

The title is misleading. You guys will surely not say “once more” after reading the below lines of the so called shayaris but then I didn’t find a better name for this post. Come on, it is “once more” a pathetic post by anyone’s standards :p

Pyaara sa ek dard
Humne bhi kiya tha kisi se pyaar,
Par kar na sake unse ikraar.
Ab bhi hum unko yaad karte hain,
Lekin sirf sapno mein unka deedar karte hain.
Aasman mein jhilmilate hain tare,
Baag mein khilkhilate hain phool sare,
Lekin mujhe khushi tab hoti hain,
Jab muskurathe hain mere dost pyaare.
Kyun hota hain bura achhe logon ke saath?
Kyun nahin deta Bhagwan unka saath?
Lekin hum kabhi na chodenge unka saath.
Badenge aage lekhe haathon mein haath.
Mud ke jab woh hamari taraf dekhte hain,
Toh dil mein hamare pathaake phootthe hain.
Aur jab who humein dekhkar thoda muskurathe hain,
Toh hum mann hi mann unke ho jaate hain.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction. No relevance or reference to any person living or living elsewhere. It is not meant to be torturous. Weak-hearted, please excuse. Am posting this disclaimer (for formality sake) after the actual shayaris instead of it being at the beginning only because I want you to read the shayaris ;) (I like being wicked) and this disclaimer is just to make sure that I don’t get blamed for the consequences.
PS: I think am pushing my luck a little too far by posting these “so called poems and shayaris”. I need to post something sensible very soon.

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